My Life, at a Cross-Road.

Today I confronted the daunting task of completing assignments. I have four assignments due in the next two weeks and I just do not want to do any of them.

I am studying to be a teacher, and for the past three years I have sat on my arse and contemplated if this is the right job for me or not. I seriously don't think it is. I never really have. Everyone else is convinced that I am going to be "the best" teacher, but I am now thinking that maybe I am just doing this for everyone else? I have no idea what I want with my life and I am sick and tired of sitting around waiting for it to start. To quote Robbie Williams: I'm contemplating thinking about thinking... Or if I want to put it into 'teacher talk' I could say I'm contemplating metacognition. But that's just being a smart arse. Anyway, I'm contemplating thinking about deferring next year. Maybe moving to Melbourne, which I have wanted to do for ages. Just getting up and going. But then, I think, "well I've only got a year left, why not stick with it?"

The truth is, I am utterly fucking miserable. Completely and utterly. But I find teacher aspects coming out in me all the time. For example: A much loved comedian of mine posted on his Twitter account this morning that he was going to build a BBQ like a real man, but there would be much more delighted 'squeeling' involved when he was done. It is spelt 'squealing'. Not 'squeeling'.

The question is posed: To correct, or not to correct? Will I continue to let my favourite blonde-haired-wonderboy use incorrect spelling? Or will I politely correct him, so that thousands of people around the country/world do not continue to stare at this booboo, wondering the same thing as myself. I decide to let it go this time, as I did not want to come across as either a freak or a spelling Nazi. However, I the point of that story is that it is an incredibly teacherish thing to do.

So here I am, sitting on my arse again, wondering what to do with my life. While my partner for my Languages assignment, just messages me to tell me she has done all the work. I now feel terrible. I think she's picked up on how unmotivated I am. I think everyone has. I don't think I want to sit through another mundane year at my piss poor university, waiting for my life to start.

I think I'm done whingeing for now. I might go back to procrastinating on facebook or something.
E.